Written from the perspective of a woman who isn't getting any (at least she admits it) Rosie DiManno's latest column in the Toronto Star is an abuse of her position and platform as a national columnist insofar as the intention; a celebate's lament and crabby rant about her female neighbour who is having regular, and apparently very loud, sexytimes.
The article was childish enough but what was even better were the reader comments: Talk about an issue that has people holding their heads and walking around in circles muttering "what to do? what to do?" More than a few comments suggested doing something to embarrass the woman. How appalling. Rosie herself is "just hoping" her offending neighbour reads the column. What an uptight chickenshit. What is worse is that it's people like this that call anonymous hotlines to rat on people, like the 1984-esque neo-fascism that is the Antisocial Behaviour law and accompanying complaint/tip line that's been installed in the UK.
What I gleaned from these comments is that the crux of a lot of people's problem with the noise is because it's sex-related. What would you do if it was a loud stereo? There's no difference. If it's a 'one-off' (no pun intended) or occasional thing, ignore it. If an individual is habitually disturbing the peace or reasonable enjoyment of others with their loud sex, then the thing to do is knock on the wall or; slip a note under the door or; go to the unit and personally let them know you're being disturbed and if that fails: complain to the landlord/condo board or notify the police, the latter being required to enforce the noise bylaw.
People are just at a loss how to react because it's sex. Sex is normal, so we should be prepared to discuss it normally when others get carried away. It happens. In urban life we should expect to be exposed to others' lives to a degree and deal with it like responsible adults. When I hear my neighbours going at it, my partner and I giggle. I'm sure they do the same with us.
Something else the readership, or the columnist in fact, hadn't considered is that maybe this woman is filming. 'Amateur' porn is extremely popular these days and anybody who's had at least a passing accquaintance with video porn knows how um, pronounced, the audio is. Perhaps it was just "another day at the office" for the fornicating neighbour but whatever the circumstances behind the sex, I suggest Ms. DiManno put on her big girl panties, hum "Birds do it, Bees do it," and deal with the situation like an adult. Or just pretend she's complaining about a loud stereo.
Want to know what I think? I think she's secretly titillated and that's why she hasn't said anything and then threw it out there for others' amusement. It's a hateful thing to do and I bet. you. any. money. that if the two participants were males, Rosie DiManno would've kept her mouth shut. It's okay for women to hate on each other, it always has been and this is blatantly evident here: the woman next door is getting her brains fucked out on the regular and Ms. DiManno can't stand it. More to the point: she probably doesn't even know what that means. Poor thing.
You know, that women hating on other women has never been more apparent to me than the last few months or so. When you read celebrity gossip blogs it's obvious that a majority of the commenters are women, and the things that they say about other women is really appalling. The Jon and Kate situation, just for instance, as opposed to the Jolie/Pitt/Aniston perpetuated triangle... while it's bad enough that in both situations the MEN who may or may not actually be the ones breaking their marriage vows are being given a pass, WOMEN commenting on the subject are blaming, in one case, the wife, saying that she's such a bitch you can't blame him for f'ing around, and exonerating, in the other case, the wife, who for all appearances to a rational person was agreeable to the termination of her marriage, while villifying to the point of HOPING that her CHILDREN's family will be broken, the man's new partner. Of you take the celebrity and names out of these two scenarios, the woman-on-woman hate is DISTURBING.
ReplyDeleteI would laugh ALOT if my neighbor was having loud sex. People don't exactly sound somber when they're going at it, just the audio would be rather amusing. That being said, if I had children in the house, I would not be quite as affable.
I hear that Diva - for instance, and I'll use Maury or Springer as examples - dude is caught cheating and what happens? The spurned woman goes at the one on the side and the fur flies while the guy stands aside like he's played no part in the situation whatsoever.
ReplyDeleteI think this columnist is just a peevish bitch and she had no right to put out a column like that. That's just underhanded highschool bullshit. It's also teetering on the brink of libel.
Agreed totally.
ReplyDeleteI used to have an upstairs neighbor - well, actually that was an interesting apartment because the apartment below us was inhabited by Craig Sager - if you don't watch sports on ESPN you may not know who he is, at the time he was one of the local sportscasters who made good. He and his wife threw each other around their apartment on a frequent basis, much screaming and cursing on both sides. But it was the upstairs neighbors that kept me interested. Every weekend night I would lie, all too often alone, in my bed and listen to the escalating moans and religious screams from above me. I used to think that guy who was causing all that had to be something else, and it took several months of hearing the above-me door close, running to peek out the front door to try to catch a glimpse of him, before I finally got a look at the 19-ish, plump, eyeglass-wearing neighbor. I was so disappointed, from his lady's reaction I would have expected no less than Johnny Depp. But you can't tell a book by its cover.
Incidentally I never did report him or bitch about it. Thought it was funny. And was just a little jealous.
I would giggle, too.
ReplyDeleteSyko: LOL at the pudgy dork who was plowing his girlfriend into a frenzy. You never can tell.
Hey, my pudgy dork can plow me into a frenzy!!!
ReplyDeleteLMAO
I know, TMI... but it fit the thread. {=0)
Diva: LOL, so can mine! Rawr!
ReplyDelete