Our pets are evil skeeziks, eee-VIL! My cat knows that if he pulls that usual cat bullshit of pretending to walk along with me and then dekeing across my path of travel, he’s going to get stepped on. So, he doesn’t do that anymore but apparently he’s been giving some thought to retaliation and 'how to fuck a bitch up.'
It started off innocuously enough with him developing this recent habit of lying on my lower legs.
About a week ago I was in bed and woke up not being able to feel my feet and there he is on my lower legs. I said "get down." Twice. No response, except for some minimal stink-eye and the old one-ear turn. I bucked my legs to launch him off me and didn’t realize that between his weight and the sheets wrapped around my body, my legs weren’t going anywhere. My lumbar spine did though, it just up and decided it was going out. Didn’t say when it would be back either.
My back was out for a couple of days and then I was hit with a flare-up of sciatica which is still ongoing. I’m convinced that while they’re here under the guise of alleged companionship, these little terrorists in fur coats pass up no opportunity to maim us when said opportunity it presents itself and now I have proof.
Damn, I'm sorry about your back. One of my cats, Denver (the Obese), used to sleep in between us, and NOTHING could make her move. Nothing. We'd inadvertently roll over on top of her in our sleep, or try to shove her aside, and she wouldn't budge. Hell, most of the time she wouldn't even wake up.
ReplyDelete"Denver the Obese" -that is a riot.
ReplyDeleteIt's as though THEY are doing US some kind of grand favour by letting us sleep in our own beds...how dare we depose them.
You're absolutely right. And I think it's time we regain control! *She says while typing over and around the massive cat snoring on her lap.*
ReplyDeleteI'd unleash my battle cry, but I don't want to wake her up. She gets cranky if she doesn't get a full 18 hours of sleep.
Uh, whoops, that was me. Somehow I posted anonymously. It was the cat's fault.
ReplyDelete"I'd unleash my battle cry, but I don't want to wake her up. She gets cranky if she doesn't get a full 18 hours of sleep."
ReplyDeleteYou didn't post Anonymously Codzilla, your cat was channeling ;-)
"It types my thinks onto blogs. It does this whenever it is told..."
Baho, LOL! That last line is priceless. Although, admittedly, it kind of freaked me out. Maybe I should wear a tin foil hat, just in case. You know, to keep out any intruders.
ReplyDeleteFeline Thetans, I hear that...
ReplyDelete